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FORKNI-L Digest - 17 Apr 2004 to 18 Apr 2004 (#2004-106)

Sun, 18 Apr 2004

There is one message totalling 63 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

  1. News on the medical front


Date:    Sat, 17 Apr 2004 20:15:34 -0700
From:    chris thatcher <mb_the_spy@y.......>
Subject: News on the medical front

A friend of mine sent this humorous "news article" to
me.  It reminded me of a character on FK.  Guess which

chris ;?


Doctors have now identified a condition which they are
calling Sudden-onset Apathia Profundis (SOAP).  They
haven't yet determined the cause, and so far, it is
not known whether it affects some sections of the
population more than others.  Statistics do show
however, that those who have had SOAP in the past show
a higher probability of having it in the future.

SOAP is characterised primarily by a drop in energy,
with or without warning, and a decrease in neural
activity and function.  On the exterior, this is
manifest by blank stares, unresponsiveness,
indrawn-ness, and/or bitterness.  Doctors say that it
has gone undiagnosed in the past due to its
resemblance to insulin shock and coma.

Sufferers, due to the very nature of the condition,
will not usually report it, so it is up to those
around them to intervene.  If you suspect someone is
having an episode of SOAP, there are several ways to
bring a person out of it.  Telling a bad joke is a
good first option. If you feel more drastic measures
are warranted, a bucket of water over the head, a slap
to the face, or even a tackle may work.  The last is
to be used only as a final resort. If necessary, hurl
insults, do whatever you can to get a rise out of the
SOAP victim.  If it is a very severe case, your best
efforts may prove ineffectual.  The only thing to do
in this situation is to show them you love them and
"be there" for them till the bout passes.

As SOAP victims tend not to care if they live or die,
and killing oneself is too much work, SOAP is rarely

"I don't bite.... Well, that's wrong; I do bite."


End of FORKNI-L Digest - 17 Apr 2004 to 18 Apr 2004 (#2004-106)

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