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FORKNI-L Digest - 13 Jan 2005 to 14 Jan 2005 (#2005-14)

Fri, 14 Jan 2005

There are 10 messages totalling 415 lines in this issue.

Topics of the day:

  1. lists and beliefs
  2. Internet Family including FK fans--Re: lists and beliefs (6)
  3. GAK! APOLOGIES! Re: Internet Family including FK fans--Re: lists and
     beliefs
  4. ADMIN: New PRAYER Topic
  5. Trip to Toronto - finally!

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Date:    Thu, 13 Jan 2005 17:52:31 -0800
From:    Ith <ithildin@o.......>
Subject: Re: lists and beliefs

At 02:38 PM 1/12/2005, Cheryl P wrote:
>I too, have never met anyone personally from the list, but i do call
>some of you friends.  I believe the list a great place to chat and pray
>with good thoughts.

I've been here since 1995 (yikes!) and made some of my dearest and best
friends through this list. Forever Knight, and this list, really did change
my life. I'll probably still be here when this is all holograms or
something! <g>

* Denise * Ithildin@o....... - * Ith *
* HOUSE M.D.: http://tv.groups.yahoo.com/group/DrHouse
* Tales From The Darkwood - http://www.ondragonswing.com/tales *
* "Yeah, but I want to see me live happily ever after even more." ~Methos*

------------------------------

Date:    Thu, 13 Jan 2005 22:17:41 -0500
From:    Deborah Hymon <debh@e.......>
Subject: Internet Family including FK fans--Re: lists and beliefs

Okay, I usually don't get involved in disagreements because I truly believe
we're all entitled to our private thoughts and beliefs. I don't like arguing
because life is just too darn short to spend it angry and yelling.  However,
something posted here did catch my attention.  I have no idea who said it,
and it's not important, but the comment was made that people on the internet
can't be family--WRONG! SO VERY WRONG!  It may be true for whoever posted
that, but not for me, and I know for many others.  How do I know?  Because
other people have said so.

I met a special person on the internet in a writing group nine years ago.
Our families met in person after us chatting for two years. He lived in
Canada at the time, and I'm in Ohio. They visited us each summer, and were
guest at our home each year for two weeks. He's truly the brother I never
had. Eventually, as fate would have it, he lost his job, and put out his
resume across Canada and the U.S.  Guess where he ended up?  Yep, an hour
away from us; lived there for four years.  Sadly, his first wife died of a
chronic illness, and he's now remarried, to a wonderful woman he met in an
on-line widow's group. We love her, and now she's become a part of our
family.

I'll admit, I'm guilty of bringing stray people home like some people do
animals, but I've never had a bad experience.  I'm cautious, and protective
of my family, using common sense when I meet someone off the Internet.
However, I've met FK fans on line who are now my friends in real life, and
visit our home often. One friend flew in from Maryland and spent the entire
New Year's week with us. Another gal did the same thing last year. (All
Forever Knight Fans)

The Internet opens up a world to meet people that we would never have met
without it. Meeting people and establishing friendships from the Internet
may not be for everyone, but I can tell you that it is for many of us. I
don't have a large family and neither does my husband, so our friends become
our family.  It doesn't matter where we meet them.  If we mesh, and truly
become friends, then they are family!

This past summer I flew to D.C. To see Ger in Cyrano. I met a few of the FK
fans, and I can tell you they 'did' become my friends, one became family.
I'll agree with LaCroix, "life is a gift".  What we do with our lives, how
we connect with others is entirely up to each of us, but don't judge others
by what your beliefs or standards are. I love the people in the FK fandom.
Many are personal friends, and a few are 'family'.

Okay, I'll go back to lurking, but just felt I had to say that. Please allow
all of us to judge who is friend and family.

Deborah


 on 1/13/05 8:52 PM, Ith at ithildin@o....... wrote:

> At 02:38 PM 1/12/2005, Cheryl P wrote:
>> I too, have never met anyone personally from the list, but i do call =
>> some of you friends.

------------------------------

Date:    Thu, 13 Jan 2005 21:43:13 -0600
From:    Nancy Kaminski <nancykam@c.......>
Subject: Re: Internet Family including FK fans--Re: lists and beliefs

> Deborah Hymon wrote:

> Okay, I usually don't get involved in disagreements because I
> truly believe we're all entitled to our private thoughts and beliefs. I
> don't like arguing because life is just too darn short to spend it angry and
> yelling.

No one's angry, and no one's yelling. This is a discussion, not an
argument. There's a big difference! One nice thing about this list is
that it's been host to many, many deep and interesting discussions.
Perhaps because you haven't been on the lists all that long, you
haven't had the good fortune to participate in the discussions we used
to have back in the old days (by that I mean 1994 to 1998, those
golden days of yore <g>).

> However, something posted here did catch my attention.  I have no idea
> who said it, and it's not important, but the comment was made that people
> on the internet can't be family--WRONG! SO VERY WRONG!

And I don't believe anyone has said that. The point being made here is
that while many of us have met first via email and then personally, it
is not always a good idea to consider this list AS A WHOLE as your
close personal friends. Some are, but most are acquaintances----and
sharing extremely personal information with acquaintances could result
in problems.

> It may be true for
> whoever posted that, but not for me, and I know for many others.  How do I
> know?  Because other people have said so.

I've met quite a few of the members of this list at various FK events,
and consider a handful very good friends. We've vacationed together,
called each other on the phone, and worry about each other when things
are bad. These are folks I would never have met and my life would be
poorer for that. However, that doesn't mean that the things I'd talk
about with these people are appropriate to be discussed in front of
people I just know as names on the list---not to mention the vast
number of lurkers we never see at all.

Nancy Kaminski
nancykam@c.......

------------------------------

Date:    Fri, 14 Jan 2005 00:36:22 -0500
From:    Julia Kocich <jkocich@g.......>
Subject: GAK! APOLOGIES! Re: Internet Family including FK fans--Re: lists and
beliefs

Argh!

I didn't mean for my reply to Deb to go on to the list. It's not the
content that is inappropriate, although increasingly offtopic, as much
as the repeat of the original post in the entrails of mine.

Sorry!

Julia K.

------------------------------

Date:    Fri, 14 Jan 2005 00:29:24 -0500
From:    Julia Kocich <jkocich@g.......>
Subject: Re: Internet Family including FK fans--Re: lists and beliefs

Deb:

I said it, but I fear I've been misunderstood.

I said that, in my opinion, an Internet LIST isn't a family.

Most of the people on any list are lurkers, so they intentionally make
themselves the "audience," watching those few people who do post.

You can make contact and connections with people on a list, but that
doesn't make the entire list, which has folks you aren't aware of, on
different continents, into a family.

I have made friends in person in this fandom; I have stayed in their
homes; I even got a plum job from a contact made in this fandom.

But ... the Internet can lull us all into a false sense of intimacy.

There is no check on who signs up to any list.

By all means, we agree, I think, that the list can be used to make
friends and family. But that's not the same as saying "the list in its
unknown entirety is my family."

At least, that's my opinion. Even if you consider it "not important."
(That hurt.)

Best wishes,
Julia K.


On Thu, 13 Jan 2005 22:17:41 -0500, Deborah Hymon <debh@e.......> wrote:
> Okay, I usually don't get involved in disagreements because I truly believe
> we're all entitled to our private thoughts and beliefs. I don't like arguing
> because life is just too darn short to spend it angry and yelling.  However,
> something posted here did catch my attention.  I have no idea who said it,
> and it's not important, but the comment was made that people on the internet
> can't be family--WRONG! SO VERY WRONG!  It may be true for whoever posted
> that, but not for me, and I know for many others.  How do I know?  Because
> other people have said so.
>
> I met a special person on the internet in a writing group nine years ago.
> Our families met in person after us chatting for two years. He lived in
> Canada at the time, and I'm in Ohio. They visited us each summer, and were
> guest at our home each year for two weeks. He's truly the brother I never
> had. Eventually, as fate would have it, he lost his job, and put out his
> resume across Canada and the U.S.  Guess where he ended up?  Yep, an hour
> away from us; lived there for four years.  Sadly, his first wife died of a
> chronic illness, and he's now remarried, to a wonderful woman he met in an
> on-line widow's group. We love her, and now she's become a part of our
> family.
>
> I'll admit, I'm guilty of bringing stray people home like some people do
> animals, but I've never had a bad experience.  I'm cautious, and protective
> of my family, using common sense when I meet someone off the Internet.
> However, I've met FK fans on line who are now my friends in real life, and
> visit our home often. One friend flew in from Maryland and spent the entire
> New Year's week with us. Another gal did the same thing last year. (All
> Forever Knight Fans)
>
> The Internet opens up a world to meet people that we would never have met
> without it. Meeting people and establishing friendships from the Internet
> may not be for everyone, but I can tell you that it is for many of us. I
> don't have a large family and neither does my husband, so our friends become
> our family.  It doesn't matter where we meet them.  If we mesh, and truly
> become friends, then they are family!
>
> This past summer I flew to D.C. To see Ger in Cyrano. I met a few of the FK
> fans, and I can tell you they 'did' become my friends, one became family.
> I'll agree with LaCroix, "life is a gift".  What we do with our lives, how
> we connect with others is entirely up to each of us, but don't judge others
> by what your beliefs or standards are. I love the people in the FK fandom.
> Many are personal friends, and a few are 'family'.
>
> Okay, I'll go back to lurking, but just felt I had to say that. Please allow
> all of us to judge who is friend and family.
>
> Deborah
>
> on 1/13/05 8:52 PM, Ith at ithildin@o....... wrote:
>
> > At 02:38 PM 1/12/2005, Cheryl P wrote:
> >> I too, have never met anyone personally from the list, but i do call =
> >> some of you friends.
>

------------------------------

Date:    Fri, 14 Jan 2005 01:05:38 -0500
From:    Don Fasig <argent@c.......>
Subject: ADMIN: New PRAYER Topic

I've added a new PRAYER topic to the FORKNI-L list. It works like the
WAR and other topics. Henceforth, prayer requests should include
PRAYER: (the colon is significant) as the first thing on the subject
line.

By default subscriptions will be set to receive messages with the
PRAYER: topic.

You can send a command to the listserver <listserv@lists.psu.edu>, to
control which sorts of messages you receive on FORKNI-L.

The command to set or change the topics to which you are subscribed
is -

       SET FORKNI-L TOPICS: <+/-> topicname

Use only the + or the - depending on whether you want to turn the
topic on or off.  For "topicname" substitute the appropriate option.
ALL will turn all topics on or off.  The available topics on FORKNI-L
are WAR and PRAYER.

If you have any questions or problems just drop me a line.

Don Fasig, FK List Gardener
fkgardener@p.......    ---,-<@
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/7139/fk-lists.htm - Subscription Help

------------------------------

Date:    Fri, 14 Jan 2005 06:41:25 GMT
From:    "gersknightlady@n......." <gersknightlady@n.......>
Subject: Re: Internet Family including FK fans--Re: lists and beliefs

I have no idea who said it,
and it's not important, but the comment was made that people on the internet
can't be family--WRONG! SO VERY WRONG!

I agree with this,  I met a young woman through FK fan fic.  She responded to a
story I'd posted.  We became great friends.  I went to Canada to see Ger in My
Fair Lady. One the way back to CA, I stopped for a week in Illinois to meet my
friend.  I'm old enough to be her mother but we have become the very best of
friends.  Last February I was the Maid of Honor at her wedding.  Her husband has
welcomed me into their home a number of times this year.  I can't imagine my
life with out these "best" friends.  FK had enriched my life in ways I could
never imagine.  I have several other internet friends I have never met but I enjoy
the friendships we have on line.  Maybe one day I'll get to meet them as well.

Jeannie

------------------------------

Date:    Fri, 14 Jan 2005 09:12:34 +0100
From:    Lorin <vachesang@1.......>
Subject: Trip to Toronto - finally!

Living in Germany, I thought I might never get the chance to visit
Toronto - but I'm finally getting there!

We're taking a family vacation later this year, from mid-July to
mid-August; we are definitely visiting Toronto; Minneapolis-St Paul;
Myrtle Beach, SC; and Nashville, TN.

No plans as for the actual route as yet; we're either flying into
Chicago or Toronto and driving down to Tennessee via the other places
(yes I know it zig-zags!) or we're flying into Nashville and making a
huge circular drive.

Question: is anyone else planning on being in Toronto around the
beginning of August?  Is there anyone else 'en route' who would like to
meet up with a fellow FK fan(atic)<g>?  Reply OFF-LIST please!

Like I said, there are no firm plans in place yet - apart from the dates
of the trip.  We'd like to do the one-way drive but are trying to figure
out if we can afford a one-way rental car - those things are WAY too
expensive! ;-)

Lorin
vachesang@1.......

------------------------------

Date:    Fri, 14 Jan 2005 04:52:06 -0800
From:    Emily <emilymhanson@y.......>
Subject: Re: Internet Family including FK fans--Re: lists and beliefs

I agree to an extent.  While I have made a lot of friends here over
the years, and you guys are great, I can't say that I really know
*everyone* here.  Would you feel comfortable posting your home phone
number to the list?  I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't post it on any
web site because there are people who surf the net just to get that
kind of information and sell it.  The problem these days is that you
just don't know who is reading the stuff, and while I'd like to trust
everyone, I can't.

Now, I personally don't have a problem with people posting family
information or prayer requests, but I can see where the others are
coming from as well, especially those of different faiths.  My
general philosophy is to live and let live.

So that is my two cents.  I hope that the new prayer topic will solve
this issue.

--- Julia Kocich <jkocich@g.......> wrote:

> Deb:
>
> I said it, but I fear I've been misunderstood.
>
> I said that, in my opinion, an Internet LIST isn't a family.


=====
Emily M. Hanson
emilymhanson@y.......
http://www.starbase-eprime.us

------------------------------

Date:    Fri, 14 Jan 2005 11:57:15 -0800
From:    Kristen Fife <fenix23fyre@y.......>
Subject: Re: Internet Family including FK fans--Re: lists and beliefs

I'm going to jump in here for a moment, because part
of what I do in my real life involves researching
people (I am in the recruiting field, not intel sales)
and it is AMAZINGLY SIMPLE to find out information on
people if you know how to use the internet and where
to look. I know a lot of members of this list and
others that I belong to use internet pseudonyms for
just that reason on their display names.  This is a
very valid point, and I believe I have read that
Catherine Disher had a very bad experience with a fan
in her early career and because of that doesn't make
public appearances. Since this is an open list, ANYONE
can join, and I reinforce the common sense rule of
keeping your private information just that...private.
===========================================

Would you feel comfortable posting your home phone
number to the list?  I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't
post it on any web site because there are people who
surf the net just to get that kind of information and
sell it.

=====
Kristen Fife
http://www.fkvoyage.com/fkfanfic/fife_kristen/
"When a half-breed vampire becomes the object of Mafia revenge, the ensuing
power struggle pits immortal and mortal families against one another." -THICKER
THAN WATER
"The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him."

------------------------------

End of FORKNI-L Digest - 13 Jan 2005 to 14 Jan 2005 (#2005-14)
**************************************************************

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